


cross my heart and hope to die

by wingsaloof



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Happy Ending, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28183968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsaloof/pseuds/wingsaloof
Summary: It’s Children’s Day and Muku realizes he’s growing older.
Relationships: Miyoshi Kazunari & Sakisaka Muku
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44
Collections: Four Seasons with You





	cross my heart and hope to die

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this fic was a part of four seasons with you zine, which i was head mod and beta reader of. it's a wonderful anthology of beautiful by many talented writers and artists, so [please check it out](https://a3week.itch.io/4swu)! it's over 100 pages of fanart and fanfic, all for free :D
> 
> as for the fic itself, i had the honor to write for my two favorite characters, but like always, i cannot give muku a break. im so sorry sakisaka nation

Muku has his carp streamer in hand, still unfinished, when Kazunari comes running towards him. 

Although they hadn’t been in Mankai for long then, everyone seemed to have a blast when they came together to customize their streamers last time. It made sense for the members to do this again this year — cue the amount of actors crowding the courtyard, filling the air with the smell of paint. Izumi looks to be coordinating how to share the materials, natural leader she is, and you can see smiles left and right as people discuss what kind of decorations they will add to their carps. 

Of course, that doesn’t include the more reserved members. Hisoka is slouched against the wall between rooms 102 and 103, snoring under the shade of the second floor. Masumi, done with his work long ago, watches Izumi as she paces around the courtyard. It’s possible to hear Sakyo in the kitchen, as he removed himself from the party in order to get some water and, in his words, to avoid seeing waste happen right before his eyes. Muku, an unusual addition to that group, sits at the entryway, holding his barely-touched carp streamer. The key difference is that while the others still blend into the landscape, Muku feels isolated. A blur in a corner of the picture.

That thought has been bothering him for a while now. The fact that someday, the colors of that image will fade, and no one will be able to discern who was there and what they were doing. Someday, Muku will look back on that image and realize that laughter was something no longer in this world. It was a dream someone had many nights ago.

It’s Children’s Day and Muku realizes he’s growing older. That isn’t a bad thing in itself, but once he starts thinking about what the future might bring, it all becomes a little more unsettling. Is he ready to become an adult? What will happen once he leaves the garden of St. Flora? Is there a place for him outside of Mankai? You can always come back home, but what if  _ home _ stops existing? People come and go; it happened year in, year out, over at the track-and-field club. Even if a theatre company works differently, there’s no guarantee of what his tomorrow will be like. 

Who will Muku Sakisaka become in a matter of years?

The question scares him. There isn’t anything that can lead him on to an answer. 

The thoughts swirl around in his mind; his fist clutches the streamer with a harsher grip. Everything is spinning. He wonders if it shows on his face and that’s why Kazu is coming towards him. 

“Hey, Mukkun!” He raises a hand in greeting, the usual bright smile on his face. “Stuck on your design?”

“Sort of.” His voice isn’t as cheery as his roommate’s, though Muku isn’t even trying to sound energetic. 

“Is something bothering you? Midterms coming up?”

“No, that’s fine. It’s just that…” 

He always confides his worries to Kazunari. His friend has saintly patience, always listening and giving him advice no matter how ridiculous Muku sounds. This, for once, is _ too _ personal. Something that shouldn’t be said out loud — or rather, something that will become the truth once he put it into words. Muku believes in the magic of words, and he doesn’t want to place a curse on Mankai.

Kazunari blinks at him, snapping Muku out of his thoughts.

“Can I sit by your side?” hHe asks, hands on knees. The cheer from his greeting is still present but toned down to a gentle hum.

“Of course.” This time, he tries smiling. Although not light, it’s not entirely forced. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” Kazunari leans on Muku’s head after taking his hat off. “You looked like you could use some company, y’know? So here I am.”

It’s amazing how much they understand each other by this point. They have lived together for not longer than a year or two, but they are able to tell changes in mood from a glance. Whenever the other is going through a hard week, or when something special happens, Kazunari is there for Muku, and Muku is there for Kazunari.

Muku feels really blessed to have someone like that by his side, which, in turn, only digs the hole under him further into the center of Earth. The fear of losing that presence overwhelms the relief from Kazunari’s words.

“Kazu-kun, do you ever think about the future?”

“A normal amount, I think? Not a lot, tbh.” He shakes his head. “What brings that?”

“... It’s Children’s Day, right.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t have a lot of time left as a child. I’m already in high school and I still have no idea of what my future will be like. What should I work with, what should I keep doing, what should I leave behind. I don’t think I’ll be able to become a good adult. I’m afraid I’ll end up leaving something precious behind.” He hides his head between his knees. “And most of all, I’m afraid that my future won’t be like my present… if you get what I mean…” 

“Like no hanging out after school, or no morning practice?”

“No morning practice.” Muku whimpers. “I know nothing lasts forever, even if I want it to. Lately, when a moment like this happens… I can’t really enjoy it. I can only think about how someday, this will be just a memory.”

Kazunari hums in understanding. 

“Y’know, Mukkun, when I was your age, I didn’t have a lot to look back on. Even now, it feels like my earlier school years were nothing but book after book. My life only really started once I entered high school. Then college came, and I met you guys, and joined Mankai… I never thought I’d have such a bright future.”

“Really?” Muku looks at him, eyes widened in shock. “I can’t imagine you being any different from this.”

Kazunari stretches, grabbing the hat previously resting on his lap. “I’ll tell you about it someday. For now, I just want to tell you that life as an adult isn’t that bad! It’s been treating me just fine. And it’s a fact that I had to go through a lot of stuff in order to arrive where I am right now. This will happen to you too, and I’m sure every adult in this house will tell you the same.” He puts the hat on Muku, adjusting it so as to not cover his face. “But for now, what’s most important is that we are here, in this moment. And isn’t that wonderful already? Who we are might change, but the fun we had will remain the same.” 

By this point, Muku is pulling the hat down to hide his tears. 

“And if we do go our separate ways someday, it only means we won’t be sharing the same room anymore. It doesn’t mean we will lose contact or that we’ll never see each other again. Mankai brought us together, but it isn’t what’s keeping us close. And if you feel like this again, just tell me, and we’ll talk it out! I can assure you I’ll always be there for you, Mukkun. Like the rest of Summer Troupe will, and I know you’ll do the same for us! Until we become a bunch of grandpas, then we'll tell our grandkids about all the fantastic adventures we had on and off stage.”

He sticks his pinky finger out in Muku’s direction. 

“It’s a promise, okay?” 

“Thank you so much, Kazu-kun.” He intertwines their pinkies. “It’s a promise.” 

There are a few moments of silence as Kazunari allows Muku to recollect himself, to dry his tears before anyone else can notice the commotion and bring more attention to the situation.

“So, do you want to work on that carp streamer now?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” For the first time in the day, Muku’s smile is strong and genuine. It makes Kazunari smile back with a glimmer in his eyes that Muku recognizes as pride.

He has to live up to his expectations — how weird, that sentence doesn’t sound daunting or stressful as it usually does. Right now, Muku can only think about how he wants to grow up not into a prince or an ace, but into someone like his roommate.

“Okay, then let’s make it the most colorful one!” Kazunari stands up, hands on waist. “I want people to be able to see it from Veludo Station!”

“Wait, how high are we placing these?” 

“Hey, Muku-kun, not done yet?” Izumi calls him from under a tree, right by where Citron is trying to tie his streamer to a branch. A distressed Tsuzuru is trying to talk him out of it while a concerned Sakuya explains that he got his holidays mixed up. 

Kazunari laughs at the scene before replying, “We’re on it!” 

“I’m almost there, Director!” Muku shouts, looking at the carp on his hands. Then, in a whisper, he adds, “I’m going to get there.” 


End file.
